


Reflections

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Characters - Good use of minor character(s), First Age, General, Writing - Clear prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:45:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3761976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mandos reflects, mostly on Feanor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

Summary: Mandos reflects

Author's Note: Mandos doesn't get the credit he deserves. He may be the  
Vala of Death and Judgment but he's still (for lack of better phrase) one  
of the good guys. In other words I'm saying that the guy is proof that  
death is not necessarily evil, and that darkness is not necessarily evil.  
I'm assuming that Elves can be released from Mandos, when they serve their  
time in the Halls, and given back a body so they can live in Aman. Deals  
with Feanor mostly.

 

 

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Reflections

 

 

I see their faces, I see their pain, their fears, desires, hopes, dreams,  
the very essences of their spirit and soul. Everything is revealed to me.  
Many in my Halls are innocent, they should be living happy lives, but what  
is happy in these times?

I was given the knowledge, wisdom, of what is yet to come but I remain  
silent. Eru made me the Judge of all that Die, but none die. Souls and  
Spirits live on, even if their bodies may perish, they endure, the essence  
of them endures. The memories are all there, their accomplishments and  
their failures, all covers are shed and all is revealed. Life and Death,  
what is the difference? For everything lives and souls do not die.

I may not be the most powerful, yet I was gifted or cursed with dealing out  
Death and Judgment, but judgment requires knowledge and that I have.  
Knowledge of comings and goings and knowledge of what is yet to come but  
not all. None but Eru himself can know all, for Eru is all. We are created,  
and all is made by the One. Through us He does his will, or are we just  
here? For He does as He wishes and we have no power over it.

The Firstborn, I saw their fate. I saw the pain that they would have to  
endure and I saw the future sorrows that were bestowed upon them.  
Everything I saw came to pass, and all that I see will come to pass, I do  
not question what was given me. For I am one of the many thoughts of Eru  
Iluvatar and I will do what I am here for.

For long had we, the Valar, held council of the Firstborn in the Beginning.  
Yavanna and Orome had brought troubling news to us of the Outer Lands and  
Yavanna spoke of Melkor and of the darkness. She asked if we would leave  
the land desolate and full of evil, she asked would we have light while  
they were in darkness and she asked if we would allow them to call Melkor  
lord while Manwe sits upon Taniquetil. But Tulkas wanted to make war, he  
thought that we had rested from strife for too long and asked if Melkor  
would contest with us forever.

At the bidding of Manwe I spoke, I told them that the Children would come  
in that age indeed, but not then. I told them that it was doom that they  
shall come in darkness and shall look first upon the stars and that Varda  
would they call at need.

All that I said had come true, for I saw it coming. The Dooms of both  
children I knew, for He speaks with me in ways I know not. I do not know if  
he speaks thus with the others but I hear the echo within me, as if I knew  
things and sometimes my voice was not mine own.

After the battle with Melkor we were in council again, most wanted the  
Quendi to enter Aman, and some believed that the Children should be left to  
themselves to roam freely about Middle-earth. I stayed silent, for I knew  
no matter which side I chose the 'Doom' would still come. The Quendi would  
arrive, I knew, and I also saw the Doom that would come with them. With our  
decision the Fate of Arda was made, no matter how much one tried to change  
that Fate it would still come. Everything has already been bound to the  
Music, the Music holds all of our Fates and Destinies.

I listened in silence as Ulmo said that the Children should be left upon  
Middle-earth, and with their gifts and skills order all the lands and heal  
their hurts. But most others feared for the Quendi, they feared that they  
would be kept in the dangerous world, but foremost, they were filled with  
love for the Children and desired their fellowship. At the end the Quendi  
were summoned to Valinor.

I knew what would come, and I knew that the first summons would not have  
been made had the rest of the Valar knew what would come. For we loved the  
Children and hoped ever for their well-being, but they did not know and I  
broke my silence saying, 'So it is doomed.' I did not and would not say  
more, for who am I to mess with Eru's will and Fate? Even if I did say  
more, the Quendi would have been summoned anyways for we all loved them and  
the others at the council did not truly understand Fate as I do. I was born  
with this understanding, as the others were born with their own  
understandings that I cannot begin to comprehend.

As the Children crossed Middle-earth they divided. Some chose to remain and  
others continued the journey. The remaining and the arrived would both  
suffer. All was well until Melkor was released, in Melkor was darkness  
unexplainable a hatred and desire that no one but he and Eru could ever  
understand. He was brought before me and I gave judgment with Manwe, I knew  
that whatever punishment was bestowed upon him he would not change, only  
his hatred would grow.

I saw Miriel, the first wife of Finwe and the mother of Feanor, as I saw  
her spirit I found none of the former fire that burned within her, all of  
it spent or all of it given. Her son Feanor had received that fire and  
within him it burned and grew. With the fire of his mother and fire he  
created himself he became one of the greatest of the Noldor and of all the  
Elves. But through that fire he destroyed all that could have been, but  
could have been? Our Fates have already been decided, many have questioned  
why Iluvatar gives us pain. I ask myself the same question, for my Halls  
grow with each passing year. Pain, I believe that He gives us pain so we  
can learn of our own mistakes and learn lessons, for what other way will  
they listen? Words they may heed but they do not understand.

 

 

Feanor then created the Silmarils, and in them held the light of the Two  
Trees, the Silmarils appeared beautiful but they are terrible in their own  
right. Varda had hallowed the Silmarils so that impure hands could not  
touch them without pain, event through the hallowing Fate could not change  
itself.

When Melkor was released I knew Ulmo saw past him and Tulkas would clench  
and unclench his fists and I gave no sign of my worries nor did any ask of  
my opinion of which I was glad.

Melkor spread lies, he caused brother to turn against brother and friend  
against friend. He deceived Feanor, causing him to threaten Fingolfin, his  
half-brother. Being brought in front of me at the Ring of Doom I was to  
pronounce judgment. Feanor revealed that Melkor had played some part and  
Tulkas left, searching for Melkor so judgment could be pronounced upon him  
once again. But still Feanor must pay for his actions and was not found  
guiltless, for through him peace was broken in Valinor and he had drawn  
sword upon his own kinsman, which was unlawful.

I knew that no matter what judgment I pronounced the 'Doom' had already  
begun. So I proclaimed his doom, so small a punishment for a great deed  
that was yet to take place. But I knew that the cut was deep, and there was  
nothing that any one of us could change. His doom was that he would leave  
Tirion for twelve years for that was where the curse and threat were  
uttered. In some hope I had wished that Feanor would look into himself and  
forget his stubbornness for but a while. But no the Doom had already  
started. For Fingolfin had forgiven Feanor but the fire within him would  
not accept that forgiveness out loud. He dwelt in Formenos with his sons  
and his father Finwe came with him. There in Formenos the Silmarils were  
kept.

But Melkor hid and he sought out Ungoliant, and with her the Two Trees died  
and their light lost. My sister Nienna wept for Telperion and Laurelin but  
I wept within me, for I knew what was to come.

Feanor decided to go to Middle-earth and make war with Melkor, Morgoth as  
he named him. On the very shores of Valinor the first Kinslaying began at  
Alqualonde.

When they had come upon the borders of the empty waste of Araman, which  
were mountainous, and cold I decided to appear before them, the tales say  
that the voice, my voice, sounded solemn and terrible. I do not know what  
my voice sounded like but anger and sorrow was what I felt. I had spoken  
the Doom of the Noldor, a prophecy and warning I chose to give them. I had  
come unbidden but I knew that through this the Children would learn and  
would grow even through that pain.

When I spoke the voice was not my own, the words had come naturally. If I  
were a being I might have said the words came from my heart, but I had no  
heart and I knew that in some way Eru was speaking to them through me in a  
prophecy. I had placed a curse upon them, but I would have willingly  
forgiven them had they repented, but they did not. I saw the group Finarfin  
had led head back but Feanor would not. Watching them go I knew everything  
was beyond my control and I went back to my Halls.

Waiting in my Halls I finally saw him again, Feanor. He had died, in body  
and I was glad that some of the fire within him had quenched and it seemed  
to me that he was truly sorry. But I give out judgment, and it must be fair  
and just. Feanor would be the last to release and he would be kept in my  
Halls and for as long as Arda endures he shall remain.

 

 

Watching all of these souls I wish that they would be freed, I wished that  
Arda marred would be unmade so their souls could be freed. But I knew the  
pain that would come with it, the Last Battle, and I wished that I did not  
know so much.

 

 

THE END

 

 

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A/N: I think I made Mandos know too much, would this be considered slight  
AU? I don't really know. I honestly hope I got the history accurate, I have  
the Silmarillion right next to me and I followed it as I wrote this so it  
should be right. Mandos is too under appreciated. I might do other elfies  
other than Feanor, hmmm..span>


End file.
